Wednesday, January 17, 2007

A Bunk Bed Ate My Arm

Last night I spent pretty much my whole evening trying to turn this:

Into this:

Ahh, the joys of cheap furniture with instructions that read like an intercept of alien communications. On the box it said 1 1/2 hours to put it together. Six hours later I curled up on the bottom bunk of my own deathbed, blood blistered, exhausted and missing one arm. Although the arm is actually still there and is currently typing away on this blog post, I am sure that in some other dimension, I am missing my arm. It is so sore and tense and it hates me for the way I used it as a monkey would use a rock to break things open.

So it says that this was a two person job. I always find those things to be debatable. I like to put myself in the shoes of Tom Hanks in Castaway, because I want to see if I can, as many a two year old has proclaimed, "Do it myself!" After constructing both beds, I was met with the task of putting one on top of the other. I tried staring like I imagined an architectural genius might stare, trying to really get some inventive thoughts to hit me. To me, this meant hands on hips and show this hunk of wood what the heck you can do!

Once that was accomplished, I managed to put one end up first, rest it on the lower bunk, then use a chair to rest the other end on, align all the posts, jiggle them into place, pinch my finger horribly, almost break the dowely thingie that holds everything together, scream out the window into the cold, snowy night that I am GOING TO FINISH THIS THING!! Then I headed to bed without putting the ladder or the guard rails on, because enough is enough...or I've had it up to HERE...or I don't even want to look at you right now!...or for the love of God, make the madness stop!

So for today there are a few loose ends to be tied up, but how hard can it be??


TaterTot said...

My husband would love the phrase "dowley thingy" in your post.

MaGreen said...

i'm also a member of the school of taking the sentence "it takes two people" and making it a challenge. i know all about the 6 hour 1/2 hour project.

but: hey, you were right. it only took one person!

Jessi Louise said...

tot - Yes, dowely thingie is much more fun than dowel.

magreen - That's right! I don't understand why they would say you need TWO people ;)

moxiemomma said...

the pictures at the front of this post said it all. i was laughing before i even started reading. good luck with that!

Lulabelle said...

Ah...the joys of boxed furniture. My similar experience: