Monday, January 28, 2008

Hey, look it's 4 AM.

Falling asleep is somewhat of an accomplishment for me. The moment I lay down in bed, my brain throws a party. I remember things that I thought were long gone. I think of 30 new ideas. I look at the clock and smack myself in the face. I figure out what I should wear for the next 90 days. I stand on my head. I realize that there may be a ghost or an intruder in the house. I lay still and hope they don't bother me. I look at the clock and poke myself in the eye. Finally when I have planned out the next 27 years, made staggering psychological breakthroughs and discovered the meaning of life, I begin drifting off to sleep. Then as I am hanging there in between asleep and awake... peaceful... happy... almost looking like I am dead, my big fat cat comes flying across the room, scrambling all over with his claws until he lands on my chest and stares at me. Then I have a heart attack and the cycle repeats itself.

By the time I wake up in the morning I have forgotten every epiphany I had the night before including my own name and where I am and why my bed looks like I've lived in it for a week and rode it across the Amazon. I emerge like a dazed car crash survivor with hair that has been meticulously shaped into a swan. After I've recovered from seeing myself in the mirror, I spend the day as a normal person. Then night rolls around again and I lay down to realize that I am indeed a lunatic.


Becky said...


It never used to, not until Sir Alex was born (well, conceived. I was the only pregnant woman I'd met with insomnia) and now I have to medicate myself just to sleep.

Fun. Oh how fun.

cameo said...

i think we were separated at birth - no wait, you're too young. but hear! hear! on the epiphany thing. i am flippin brilliant when i'm going to bed, and the next day, i return to the brain blob everyone is used to. what gives? one day i'm gonna get wise and put that notebook by my bed and have documented proof i'm smart. until then, i'm happy to know there's someone out there who will believe me without it.

Jessi Louise said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one! I've tried the notebook thing, but then I have to actually give up on trying to sleep long enough to turn the light on and get a pen. It's like admitting defeat.

Defiantmuse said...

wow. I tooootally hear ya. I'm exactly the same way.

Dorie said...

Thanks for writing this.