Monday, January 14, 2008

I have to write this fast, before my clothes go out of style

I'm losing track of what's in style. I think I am still supposed to know, because I'm not out of my twenties yet. First it's hip to wear skinny jeans, then flared jeans, then loose-fitting jeans, then curvy and low-rise and ultra-low rise and butt-crack revealing, then it starts all over again. And matching, matching is good until suddenly it's bad and you should mix patterns unless you want to look like a toad. Colors, jewel tones are good now, brown is the new black, gray is the new brown, and gold is the new silver. Pastels are barf. Unless you are in Vogue magazine and then you can wear anything, even a burlap sack and burlap will be the new tweed.

A few years ago I started trying to buy clothes that were more classic than trendy, which means that some days I am dressed like a 48 year-old on the verge of another hot flash. I figure it's a sign I'm getting older when the high school kids' clothes and hairstyles look a little wacky to me. I mean they look cute, but what's up with the hair in the face now? It's always falling down over one eye like, "Don't look at me. I am emotional."

I guess it's the natural progression. After graduation, people run out of the time and energy needed to stand in front of a mirror debating what precise combination of clothing and accessories will properly project their mood for the day. It's not that I don't care anymore, it's just not that important that my outfit says, "I am a relatively nice person who has a problem with authority."

It will be funny when our generation gets old and the nursing homes are teeming with old folks in hoodies, demanding to watch the Real World. You kids don't know how good you've got it! Back in the day we didn't have iPods! We had boomboxes that took 6 batteries and we carried them on our shoulders!! We didn't have eBay, we had garage sales and that meant shuffling through some stranger's junk in a dank garage, hoping to find some zubaz in your size!


Becky said...

At 27, I've finally hit the age where I have to start to wonder if I am trying to wear something that's too young for me (not a problem YET, as I am still working on losing the baby weight).

This post cracked me up. And I needed that today. Thank you.

cameo said...

damn you're funny!
#1 you're still in your 20's? i'd tell you to go to hell, but would you know i was kidding?
#2 forget the "classic" style. it soooo screams boring. i tried that too. it's just not cool, i mean me, i mean cool.
#3 kids with the hair all in their face - way too funny, because it's so true. i just wanna go get them a barrett. (with the threaded ribbons with beads on the end - oh no, was THAT too old for you? again, damn!)
#4 and you've got one up on me - i have a problem with authority too, but i'm no where being relatively nice. not even close.
have a frickin' nice day whipper snapper!