Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Babies and waffles

This morning Jack announced that he hopes the next baby I have is not a girl because a boy would probably like the same things he likes. Also when he gets tired of fighting with Dylann, he would have someone else to fight with and totally dominate.

This little revelation surprised me because I'm obviously not pregnant (husband deployed for the last 15 months) and am not planning to be anytime soon. The topic comes up a lot though with other people. When I told my family that we would be moving to England at the end of the summer, their reaction was, "Oh no! That means you're going to have a baby over there!"

In my little world of family and friends there are babies crawling out from behind every corner, cute little fuzzy-headed monkeys with big fat cheeks and twinkly eyes and toothless grins. They are hard to resist. However those thoughts have been tempered with gritty labor and delivery stories, some of which actually scare the pants off me. It's been about 4 1/2 years since I had Jack and the memories of my own experiences in the delivery room have faded with time and seem almost like old fables. I'm sure some of the details have been lost and some things exaggerated.

When Donn and I compare stories we each remember different parts more vividly. He was able to pay attention to more than I was in my hysterical, half-naked state. If there are any discrepencies it's only because there was so much going on it was impossible for each of us to take it all in. Now it seems almost unreal, an experience so beyond the realm of normal daily life and so physically daunting that my mind has a hard time believing it really happened.

Although I think we will have another baby at some point, I honestly cannot imagine going through it all again. We've made it through two pregnancies and deliveries with everyone in tact. Another try seems like it might be pushing it. It would mean starting all over again with the diapers and middle of the night feedings, setting up the crib and pulling out all the old baby clothes, but it would be different with a new little person in the mix. It would be another chance to experience the first moments all over again.

Maybe we wouldn't screw up as much with the third one. Poor Dylann had to break us in to our new roles as parents and he lived through our ineptitude somehow. When Jack came along we spent an entire year in a cycle of changing diapers and warming milk because Dylann was still a toddler. Our house was so childproofed it was like running an obstacle course to get from one end of the house to the other, leaping over baby gates and unlatching doors along the way. A lot of what we spent time and money on turned out to be unnecessary, because the things that made the biggest impact and the best memories didn't cost any money. The third time around might be that much easier since the first two have worked out most of the kinks. At least up until age 6. Beyond that lies unexplored territory. As always, poor Dylann leads the way.

Just the idea of having three kids scares me a little bit. They would outnumber us. The baby would have to don a helmet and full-body protective gear in order to be in the same room with Dylann and Jack. Chaos might ensue. Or worse, we might turn into one of those families that goes out in matching shirts and fanny packs, going to square dancing festivals and being wholesome.

I guess I'll just keep hemming and hawing and waffling. It's what I do.


Jo said...

3 kids is a bit overwhelming. But as with most things, you can get used to just about anything. And your kids are older, so it shouldn't be too bad. My hubby will die of jealousy when he hears you will be going to England. He is a lover of all things British.

cameo said...

roxy is the baby i thought i'd never have. seriously. i had the boys 19 months apart and was done. there were no more diapers. they could get themselves in the car. they were in school. it was me and the boys.
then a good man came along and now there are 5 of us. and i'm back on diaper duty and dealing with a pistol of a daughter. my kids are 2, 10 and soon to be 12! and it's perfect.
babies are so cool. the boys are so cool. it's all good.
and yes you are outnumbered, but the more you have, the more laid back you become.
PLUS! you have people to take care of you when you get older! and that totally rocks!

Bea said...

I feel the same way about a third. Having had my two 20 months apart, it now seems like such a long time ago, that era of pregnancy and infancy. (Pie is only two and a half, but still.) I can't even imagine going there again.

Maternal Mirth said...

Three kids is tough, but four is just plain crazy!

I have three and if you *think* you can multi-task now, then your whole image will be shattered with said 3rd child.

M&M :)

Becky said...

I have two, like you, and although part of me wants three, I'm flat out terrified that something will go horribly wrong if I do. It terrifies me.

So, I understand where you're coming from, duder. Really, I do.