Thursday, August 14, 2008

I feel like an underpaid zookeeper

I was going to write this post about my secret love of children's books. Because I do secretly love children's picture books and I think they can be poignant and beautiful and funny and heart wrenching and very, very, very good. See how well-spoken I am? However, the unforeseeable events of this morning have changed the topic of this post. Instead it will be about trying to put a rabid cat in a bathtub....and by that I mean trying to get a 4 year old who doesn't want to go to school to put a uniform on and get in the minivan and stay there until we get to the school and then drag him kicking and screaming to his classroom where he will eventually calm down and have a pleasant day at school and come home happy only to wake up and realize that he doesn't want to go to school.

Jack was off to a good start the first week of school, but apparently he's had enough. Tuesday he was home sick and then Wednesday he was frantic not to go to school and I could not get him to put his uniform on until we were already very late. He locked himself in various rooms of the house while I chased him around and eventually it was so late I gave up because I didn't want to cause a huge disturbance at the school in the middle of the day. Which was a mistake, of course. This morning I had to pay for that.

It's difficult to carry a near 50 lb. child flailing all his limbs around like a giant vengeful seagull through an entire school while he screams various dramatic outcries. Dude, I understand. It sucks, but let's not get carried away here. There was literally sweat on my face by the time we got to his classroom and I think I my expression was a combination of "somebody help me" and "somebody shoot me" and "everybody look out!" My thoughts raced back and forth between my poor baby! and I've raised a monster! It was a horrible situation for both of us. I felt horrible...there was guilt involved...he felt horrible...there was kicking involved...

The one thing that made things slightly easier was that every single adult I saw looked sympathetic and understanding at our situation. These are elementary school teachers and they've seen it all before. You know normally in any other situation there would be some woman looking like Judgy McJudgypants, but there was none of that this morning, which was wonderful because I hate Judgy McJudgypants.

The thing that caught me so off guard with Jack's reaction this morning was that as far as I knew, he liked school. He pretty much has only had good things to report when he comes home at the end of the day and seems proud of himself. All this is complicated by the fact that we'll be moving in 6 weeks and starting over again at a new school. Somebody help me. Somebody shoot me. Everybody look out!

This was on his first day, when he just got on the bus and went to school. Just like that.


Aunt Becky said...


I have great sympathy for the dragging of children in public.

cameo said...

oh no! oh no!
wow, chica.
i have no great words for you.
yes, the fact that you're moving in a few weeks might make things get funky all over again.
but maybe it'll be smooth sailing.
i feel for you.
i'm sending another sympathetic look your way - crinkled eyebrows, puppy dog eyes and all.
hang in there!!