Friday, January 9, 2009

Three

Remember when I had the dilemma about whether or not we should have another baby?

Well, a couple weeks ago I found out that in August of this year, our children will outnumber us. I'm pregnant! Again!

Right after I found out, I felt perfectly fine for about a week and I thought this is going to be an easy pregnancy! I'll just be able to do what I normally do and be pregnant! But the nausea crept up like a big green ugly monster...and the food aversions and cravings. It's more intense with this pregnancy than with either of my first two...and I've only just begun. It already feels like my body is no longer my own. It's a vessel for some greater purpose and I'm just along for the ride.

I've been thinking of nothing but labor and delivery for the past few days. As soon as I lay down at night, I'm bombarded with images of babies being born in all manner of possible ways....at home on the floor, in a hospital with an epidural, in the backseat of a car, underwater, 100 years ago on a bed where a woman bites on a leather strap with a knife under the bed "to cut the pain." I think it's because I'll be using the National Healthcare System here in England and they have a lot more options than our military healthcare when it comes to labor and delivery. You can have a home birth if you want and the pain control options are a little different. Also babies are delivered by a midwife here and doctors are only involved if necessary. I realize it's a little early to be thinking about this, but it's been on my mind nonetheless.

And I also feel like the laziest most fun-hating person on the planet. I'm a bum. A slug. I am a stick in the mud. I want to be on the couch with a book and a blanket like a person of weak constitutions. I lure the boys to me with books and snacks and card games, so they will sit with me and then they get bored and run away because I'm a boring old woman.

And me bones are tired. But excited to the very core.