Thursday, May 7, 2009

From the Vault

These are from blog posts I never published from the past 6 months.

Bird poop in the fireplace and salami handling.

There is a nest in our chimney. We can hear the birds chirping through the fireplace. Every so often a bunch of sticks fall down into the fireplace and I'm afraid at any moment that a bunch of baby birds are going to come plopping down. Then we'll rescue them and the angry parents will come flying out of the fireplace and attack us.

My least favorite job in the morning is making the boys lunches. There's something horrible about handling cold lunchmeat first thing in the morning.

I'm going through cat withdrawl. I am not a crazy cat person or anything, but we've always had a cat. We were planning to fly our cat here from the US this weekend, but they wanted to charge us over $1,000 for the flight and fees. Now whenever the neighbor's cat walks through our yard I want to run outside and steal it.

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Yeah, well, I wanted it to be funny...so there.

Last night when I was putting Jack to bed, I laid down with him for a while and he asked me to tell him a story about Star Wars. I would rather tell a story about just about anything else, but Jack always wants to hear stories that involve weapons and danger. I don't know very much about Star Wars, beyond the main characters names, so I made something up about Luke Skywalker when he was 5 years old. Jack kept smiling and looking totally into it, so I thought I was doing a pretty good job of making crap up, but just when I got to the part where 5 year old Luke has to battle some other kid named Damien from gamma quadrant 5 (I think that's actually from Toy Story), who has a gold light saber, Jack totally lost it and laughed so hard he couldn't speak. I asked him what was so funny about this very dangerous, perilous story. And he said, "THIS IS THE WORST STAR WARS STORY EVER!!! HAHA HAHAHAHAA!!!!" The end.

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