Monday, September 28, 2009

An Update

I had forgotten what life with a newborn was like. I mean, I remembered that the first few weeks at home were pretty rough, but all the details were lost. This time around it's been easier in some ways and more difficult in others.

I now spend the bulk of my time in sweatpants. It's a very cliche "mom" thing, I know, but suddenly there are a million things to do and getting dressed is towards the bottom of the list. I have the feeling for most people it's towards the top of the list - like most people get dressed right after they get out of bed, but oh well. I manage to put real pants on when I leave the house, so that's gotta be worth something.

I don't mind the lack of sleep so much this time around. I pretty much knew what to expect and I think when you start off the night not expecting to climb into bed and sleep all night, that makes a big difference. I now usually climb into bed thinking, "Please let it be three hours...or at least two." And I'm usually not disappointed.

Did you know I have two other children besides this baby? Where are they? What are they up to? Who knows. We now pass each other in the house like ships in the night. Hey. How's it going. Need a peanut butter sandwich? Okay. See ya later.

It's strange how Jack has gone from being my little tiny baby boy (he's 6) to suddenly NOT being the baby AT ALL. He now seems ridiculously huge. As soon as we brought the baby home, Jack grew up. He now weights 355 lbs and is a big giant man . I seriously wondered if I would ever stop thinking of Jack as my baby and just like that, I have! It's weird and I hope he doesn't feel bad about it, but so far there are no signs of it.

Dylann is taking his role as the oldest very seriously and I must say, he is great at it. If the baby starts to frown at all, or wrinkle her eyebrows, he REACTS IMMEDIATELY by alerting me to the situation (MOM!!! THE BABY'S UPSET!!!) and locating the pacifier. He is an awesome big brother.

We went the first two weeks of Helena's life with no pacifier because I was breastfeeding and the midwives here advise against using one. Anytime we left the house (usually just to go to the school) I felt like I was carrying a ticking time bomb that might go off any second. And I couldn't always whip out the boob, which was the only thing that would calm her down. Errands outside the house were done with the speed and efficiency of a military maneuver. We were continuously watching her for signs she was about to let loose and that was when things really got going - okay, we're at T minus 10, 9, 8....let's move, move, MOVE! We really couldn't
keep that up, so we wound up going with the pacifier. And although I would rather see her lovely face without a big plug stuck in her mouth, I cannot imagine life without it. Ain't no two ways about it.

To sum things up, this past month I have felt exhausted...amazed...completely disorganized...

And absolutely filled...

with gratitude.