Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Forward we go

It happened as it has happened two times before. Our baby realized that she could move on her own, after months spent lying in one spot on the floor. She's been trying to get moving for weeks, but has faced the predicament of all fairly new babies - she was stuck. In the beginning that was fine, she was happy to sleep and watch things pass her by. But as those first quiet months passed and everything became more and more interesting, the frustration began. It spurred her onwards to restlessly roll and writhe and push herself up, kicking her legs and squealing until she finally realized the magical combination of arm and leg movements that bring you forward. Her face lit up for a moment, but I knew that satisfaction wouldn't last. Babies are ambitious.

This is a bittersweet milestone. I didn't feel that way when Dylann and Jack were babies. When Dylann was a baby, I was so excited for him to start moving; to see what direction he would choose and what previously unnoticed parts of the house he would decide to explore. I had no idea he would progress from crawling, to walking, to climbing, to running within about 6 months time. A year later he would be riding a scooter and a year after that, his little red bike. Now he's 8 and has been riding without training wheels for years. He rides to the park on his own with his friends. He rides a skateboard, rollerblades, ice skates and desperately wants a dirtbike. He's constantly in motion. And it all started with that first little scoot on his hands and knees.

I don't even remember when Jack started crawling. He moved so quickly from crawling to walking, he practically skipped it all together. I wrote the date in his baby book, but I didn't ponder my emotions about it. There was no wordy blog post written to document it. He crawled to try to keep up with his brother, who ran everywhere he went. It's like Dylann tagged Jack when he was a pudgy little baby, stuck in place on the floor and said, "You're it!" And Jack has been trying to tag him back ever since.

Now we are watching our last baby wake up every day a little bit older and wiser than the day before. And although I'm excited to see what the future holds for her, I also just want to hold her close for 10 years and never let her lose her baby rolls and her nubby little nose. Every time she meets a new milestone, the universe sends me a message that says, "You can't hold on." You can't hold on to the fleeting moments. You can only look forward and be optimistic.

The world is a big place for one baby on her hands and knees. I just have to try to keep up.


The Only Girl said...

Awww . . . that is bittersweet! But each new stage holds it's own magic. Enjoy them all.

Vic said...

So very touching! I love your choice of words and how you write so beautifully! The kids are beautiful and your photography is amazing!:) Happy Weekend Love!

Emily said...

I totally understand, my little bub has just started crawling too. I love the way he looks so pleased with him self when he gets to what he wants but sad as it is another baby stage passing x